i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
