and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
