Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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