6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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