You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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