But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
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ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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