i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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