I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
