Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
