you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
