it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just cut my nipple shaving
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
