I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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