Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
