Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
