OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
