Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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