Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
