i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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