Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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