i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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