I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
