Sponge bath it is.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
