Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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