I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
