so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
