Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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