Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
