be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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