But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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