Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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