I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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