remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize