I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
