Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
