This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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