Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
