what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
