dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
