i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
