the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
