the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
