The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
