The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
