If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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