It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
