haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
