tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
