she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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