she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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