I feel great
I just peed on a car
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
