im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
