ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
