i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
