Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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