My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need a beard to bite.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
