Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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