Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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