doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
