Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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